The STOPLight

A response to violence

The following article is from an interview with Rev. Owen Christianson, senior pastor at Hope Lutheran Church in Moose Lake, MN. He is part of a group called NUCLEUS.

The beginning

NUCLEUS stands for Northlanders United to Coordinate, Listen, Educate and Undo Sexual violence. We thought initially of "undo sexism," but we saw that sexual violence was closer to our target.

Sexual violence, tragically, happens in many forms. The form that awakened our sense of grievance was the abduction of Katie Poirier. As the search for her went on, a number of us began to think, "What can we do to move forward from here?" Because there were so many people caught up in the spirit of the search, the energy was not going to dissipate. It was going somewhere. Another man who had been involved in the search called me. While trekking through the woods and talking to people, his sense of justice had awakened. He also became aware of the abominable level of violence to which women in our society are exposed and the extent to which some men in our society are violated. We got together, connected with someone else, and soon we were undergoing a four-month training program through PAVSA in awareness and advocacy issues for sexual violence. In that context, we learned how widespread sexual violence is in our society.

What I've learned

I was utterly unaware of the breadth of sexual invasiveness that is touching people through the Internet. We can see how our animal instinct has siphoned into technological advances to further addictiveness, abusiveness, and victimization through the Internet.

I was shocked to discover that date-rape is such a prevalent form of sexual violence. For a middle-aged, straight, European-American male who hasn't studied the matter, it would be easy to assume that violence and prostitution and the like are out there with others but not us. It surprised me to know that middle class boys are as complicit in sexual violence as anyone else.

I also was surprised to learn that so many men are sexually victimized by other men. I had initially rather naively thought of sexual violence as done by men against women. For the most part it is, but the poisons spill over. I learned that this is a topic which people will close themselves off from very quickly and readily. You can just see their eyes glaze over. But it makes sense when dealing with sexuality, because the intimate and the ultimate are so closely tied together.

The work of NUCLEUS

The goal of NUCLEUS is to work in small groups to change male attitudes about what it means to be sexual and relate to others sexually, which for many men has become tightly implicated with violence. We talk to school groups, Lions Clubs, Rotary Clubs, hockey teams, and other groups. We've learned to sense when something is getting to somebody who may have been a victim or a perpetrator or perhaps both. If we can address the pain of one person or inspire him to reorder his life away from sexually violent behavior, then it's worth it.

From a strategic point of view when we're talking with other men, we're aware of what it's like to have grown up male in our society. "If you can't cross this narrow trail or railroad trestle -- a rite of passage -- you're not a man, you're a woman." You look like a man but really you're a woman if you can't distinguish yourself by foolhardy valor. There's a great fear among males of being dissed, but their greatest fear is being exposed as inadequate. Tactically, you have to NOT approach them by potentially challenging their honor, but with "let me tell you what I've discovered that helps me to be a more loving man to the people in my life."

The perpetrator

How someone becomes a perpetrator is complex and deeply rooted in the human situation, and we can't presume at this stage to be experts. We have approached our work more in terms of educating potential perpetrators by listening to the victimized person. We find that once people discover we've been trained, they begin to come out of the woods.

More men than we would have earlier supposed have been victimized themselves. We're not trying to take the attention away from the one who has been victimized, but for a man to have lived out his sexuality in a way that is void of communion and joy and mutuality has himself been victimized.

It's easy to think of the perpetrator as someone who has no connection to me. When we talk to men and boys about all the forms of sexual violence, some of it starts to hit home. We dealt with that issue tactically from the very beginning in that we prayed for the abductor of Katie, which was shocking to the news media because they expected a very self-righteous moralism. On a regular basis we prayed that he would come to repentance and confession with the possibility of redemption.

It's implicit within the Christian theology that each of us acknowledges within ourselves the potential for being hateful and destructive. The perpetrator isn't just some bizarre, pathological alien out there. We all need forgiveness and we're not some self-righteous elite set over the wretched sinners to straighten them out. Somewhere in the complexity of this life we want to be healers and reconcilers, and that involves acknowledging that we're part of this human race together with the most violent offenders.

Another extreme is to say, "Oh well, oh dear, the poor dear. He didn't get the nurturing he needed, and he didn't mean to do this..." which can be a form of victimization itself. So there's a tough-minded compassion that I hope we live out.

Our sexuality

As a Christian, I believe our human sexuality has been created within us to further the healing of the human race through the joy of bonding in a mutually committed, covenanted relationship. This immensely powerful gift, like every other immensely powerful gift, is being abused in painful, alienating, and disastrous ways. Nobody benefits from allowing this gift to become a poison and a weapon instead of a blessing.

Prostitution and sexual violence are part of the same lake -- the violent abuse of sexuality -- only different inlets. So if you think of it as a body of water that by nature was beautiful but now it's polluted and is ecologically dying, that's what I think of sexuality at the present time. It was created to be a beautiful form of ecstasy, and we humans have somehow polluted that body of water. So if I approach this polluted body of water of sexual violence it won't take me very long to discover sea monsters, if you will. It's really very sad.

Pornography is another inlet. We spoke with a group of 12-14 year olds, and the topic of pornography came up. We didn't do any finger-wagging, but we discussed how seeing things on the computer monitor intensifies the energy of what you see, sometimes far beyond what is helpful.

The most we've been able to do so far is to name the situation so that kids are less prone to being captivated by it. The pathos I've detected is that in the wake of all the sexual scandals amongst the clergy, we feel we have to be more watchful and suspicious. I think part of the outburst of clergy pornographic addictiveness has to do with holding ourselves back from healthy touch, from a healthy way of showing love -- not erotically, nongenitally. In the church we need to find ways to express healthy love so that it's no longer being dictated to us by a litigious society where we touch someone on the shoulder and end up with a lawsuit. I think our own Scriptures provide excellent counsel.

The church in the world

For a number of people in the congregation, Katie's abduction was the catalyst that moved them into public life. People who led private lives tending to their own families found themselves licking envelopes, sending e-mails, marching to the Capitol, and educating themselves in legislative advocacy.

When Jesus was cleansing the temple, it was a public act. Many people became involved in a public church in a way that up until this time, they didn't realize was implicit within their faith.

My congregation has seen my time spent on this as an expression of the ministry. I haven't gotten one complaint from the people. They've been indefatigable all through this process in advocating for Katie's Law, and I think we will use Wise as Serpents. The people with whom I have spoken have not met it with that kind of pious denial you might expect. It's been congruent with the same spirit that they showed toward Katie. That's what I see the church being about at the present time.

interviewed by Amy Hartman and Rev. Al Erickson

Rev. Christianson's reading recommendations:

• Wise as Serpents;
• Resources from women's organizations on the topics of sexual abuse;
• Books by Patrick Carries.

Katie's Law

A set of bills passed by the Minnesota Legislature which addressed issues such as sentencing guidelines and improved tracking for sexual offenders, improved video surveillance for convenience stores, and professional home visits soon after childbirth.

PAVSA (Program to Aid Victims of Sexual Assault) is committed to providing crisis intervention, support, and education to victims of sexual violence and their communities.

Contact:

Dorie Jenson
32 East 1st Street, Ste 200
Duluth, MN 55802
(218) 726-1442

24-hour Crisis Line: 726-1931 or

1-800-286-4751 (serving southern St. Louis and Carlton counties)