The STOPLight

Sexual assault:

Action suggestions for parents

Sexual assault of children is much more common than most of us realize. It may be preventable if children have good preparation. To provide protection and preparation, as parents we can:

• Pay careful attention to who is around our children. (Unwanted touch may come from someone we like and trust.)
• Back up a child’s right to say "No."
• Encourage communication by taking seriously what our children say.
• Refuse to leave our children in the company of those we do not trust.
• Include information about sexual assault when teaching about safety.
• Provide specific definitions and examples of sexual assault.
• Remind children that even "nice" people sometimes do bad things.
• Urge children to tell us about anybody who causes them to be uncomfortable.
• Prepare children to deal with bribes and threats, as well as possible physical force.
• Virtually eliminate secrets between us and our children.
• Teach children how to say "No," to ask for help, and to control who touches them and how.
• Model self-protective and limit-setting behavior for our children.

Should it ever become necessary to help a child recover from a sexual assault, as parents we can:

• Listen carefully to what our child tells us. Pay attention to non-verbal dues.
• Support the child for telling by belief, sympathy, lack of blame.
• Know local resources, and choose help carefully.
• Provide opportunities to talk about the assault.
• Provide opportunities for family members to receive support.

Sexual assault affects all of us, whether or not our own children are assaulted. To help deal with this social problem, all of us can:

• Provide sympathetic care and support to those who have been victimized.
• Recognize that offenders do not stop or change without intervention.
• Organize neighborhood programs to support each other’s efforts to protect children.
• Encourage schools to provide information about sexual assault as a problem of health and safety.
• Organize community groups to support education, treatment and law enforcement programs.

From: No More Secrets: Protecting Your Child from Sexual Assault, by Caren Adams and Jennifer Fay, copyright 1981. Impact Publishers, Inc. San Luis Obispo, CA 93406.