The STOPLight

A-STOP speaker heartily received

When Heidi, a national speaker for A-STOP, presents, people immediately get what she's saying and see the value in her message. She talks here about audiences in schools and churches where she has spoken to youth, pastors, women's groups, and community members.

What kinds of groups have you spoken to since you started speaking for A-STOP?

Lately I've spoken frequently in rural high schools. I spoke at a home for troubled kids. I've spoken to a lot of church groups, often where one church will invite youth from all the area churches, as well as parents and concerned community members, to come and hear me. I'm also speaking at pastors' meetings. In some places I speak to the women's organizations.

When you speak, what ideas or attitudes do you want people to be left with?

When I speak to kids I try to find out how many plan to leave their small-town area when they graduate. Usually about 100% plan to move to a bigger city. I want them to remember some warnings, some things to look out for, to educate them about what's really going on out there. Hopefully, if they run across something in life -- which they probably will -- they'll think twice and maybe not get caught up in something that could hurt them.

With parents and other adults, I say pretty much the same thing: This is what's going on. This is what your kids are facing. This is especially important for parents whose children are going off to college or away to jobs. Their kids are entering a most vulnerable time in their life. I want parents to know what they can do, what they can teach, and how they can be there for their kids -- how they can be open so their kids can talk to them about anything.

With the young people, I stress how precious they are and how they have their whole lives ahead of them. It's never too late, no matter what has happened. They can get the help they need, then go on and live a full life.

For pastors, the number one thing is educating them about what's out there. And I challenge them to speak about this from the pulpit and to be the kind of pastor where people in the congregation won't be afraid to talk to them about these issues. They can foster an atmosphere where members can talk about anything, instead of having certain subjects no one dares talk about.

How have people responded?

Kids really pay attention when I speak in high schools. Sometimes they don't ask very many questions, maybe because teachers are around or they don't want to say too much in front of other kids. A lot of times I stay after and then kids come up and talk. Some ask very pertinent questions. They know a lot about what's going on, but are naive at the same time. It's incredible how vulnerable these kids are-because they know certain things, they think they're very street smart. But they also trust people, they're nice to people, they think that people are basically nice.

Parents are pretty much scared to death. They are also naive, so when they try to protect their kids from harm, they are actually operating out of ignorance because they don't know what is really out there. Parents love their kids and want to know what they can do to protect them. They've told me, "I'm going to go home and talk to my daughter right now." They want to have an open relationship where they can talk about anything.

They also start to see that they are in competition for the lives of their kids. They think that if they can keep their kids in a little town and keep them safe, then they've done a good job. They begin to realize what's out there, all the con games, the people waiting to manipulate and lure kids. Then parents start to ask what they can do to make sure their kids are safe when they do leave.

Pastors have been very supportive and interested in the education piece. Many seem willing to talk about this issue, to say the "p" word from the pulpit. When they realize what the kids in their congregations face, they want the information, they want their kids to hear it, and they want to be approachable.

What aspects of your message really seem to hit home with people?

The biggest thing is that here I am someone who has actually been there, done that -- and in many ways I'm just like them. I grew up in a rural area. That really hits home. A lot of parents and grandparents have said, "You're just like my daughter (or granddaughter)." It scares them.

I always talk about faith -- it's critical to my whole story. Often people cry. I think it strengthens their faith to see what kind of a God we serve-the grace and the change in my life. Just the other night a pastor commented, "You seem like you have found your center; like you are a very centered, balanced person." After all the horrible things that have happened to me, it shows how important faith is.

What do your listeners tell you?

One thing that I'm seeing all across the midwest are scams that are coming to the small towns, like modeling agencies. Even if they are legitimate, there are always people on the fringes who approach kids with a business card, saying they're a photographer or something. I'm hearing about people who've left their congregation, or about a daughter who has gotten into prostitution and they won't talk about it. I've heard about girls running away, people who have been raped.

People also ask a lot of questions like, "Do you think this is legitimate?" about certain things they've seen. By the time they are done hearing my presentation, they will be so much more careful. I line up the scenarios for them. All of the scams that I hear about, I tell them exactly how they are pulled off, what they say versus what the reality is. I think there are a lot of people who are going to check into a lot more stuff.

Sometimes people come up to me, they're crying, and they just want to thank me and think I'm being really brave. I think personal stories come up for them, where they have been hurt in life. I've had people share about incest and rape or other situations where they have felt violated.

Have you felt any resistance? If so, how do you handle it?

In one church service, when I was to give an announcement about my presentation later in the day they didn't want me to use the word prostitution. Apparently some older members would have been offended. So I said my presentation would be about "dangerous people trying to get others into dangerous things." Overall, I haven't really had any resistance.

What keeps you inspired?

Speaking is very draining, emotionally and physically, but I keep speaking because of the kids. I really love them, and if anything I say can keep them out of this destructive industry, then it's all worth it!

In 2002 our organization changed its name to Adults Saving Kids. Prior to that we were called A-STOP (Alliance for Speaking Truths On Prostitution), STOP (Speaking Truths On Prostitution), or Grassroots Ministry Alliance.