The STOPLight

Survivor had sheltered childhood

Boarding the bus for Nebraska (or was it Iowa?), Heidi knew her destination was a shabby motel in a rural area. She and the others would stay there after dancing and stripping that night at Mike's bar. Some of the others were sleeping because there would be no sleep once they arrived. Night meant work; work meant customers-watching and shouting and grabbing and selecting. Heidi tried to sleep, too, but thoughts about getting out were keeping her awake. After ten years on the prostitution circuit, Heidi thought a lot about leaving - and about how it all began.

Heidi grew up in a caring, two-parent family in northern Minnesota. A straight-A student, active in her church youth group, her parents and rural community insulated their kids from the world which surrounded them. She was naive and unprepared when, with a scholarship, she headed off to college in a bigger city.

In college, she found "adult freedom" which led to partying and drinking-which led to date rape. Wounded, feeling guilty and suffering, Heidi didn't know where to turn. Enter a pimp in the guise of a “boyfriend” who understood and cared about her. He listened and learned her vulnerabilities. She was the perfect target for the emotional manipulation and propaganda that followed; which he skillfully fed her. Her misplaced trust led her to believe his masterful lies. To pimps, money counts more than human life. Their determination to control is powerful-but disguised as the love and caring that a hurting young person wants and needs.

Today Heidi talks about her years in prostitution to teens in high schools, to women's groups and college students. She tells them about the early years when she stood on the stage crying and nobody cared. About the insults and coins hurled at her because she wouldn't do the kind of dancing the men wanted. About the degrading life-style that forced her to harden herself in order to survive... about the scars that still remain.

To Heidi, prevention is vital for two reasons: (1) Once a person is caught in prostitution, regardless if they escape; regardless of the help they receive, they will carry the scars with them always; and (2) Children are being lost every day to the flourishing prostitution industry. Heidi feels kids need more "street smarts" so they can recognize the dangers. Open, honest conversations about prostitution are also needed with parents, school teachers, and church youth groups. Education is the most important thing we can do to prevent kids from becoming involved.

Heidi points out prostitution truths:

• Young people from all segments of society have believed the lies told by those in the $14 billion-per-year sex industry,and have become entangled in its web of deceit.
• Constant sexual harassment and abuse slowly alters the internal identity of a person in prostitution. They become hard in order to cope.
• Relationships always suffer. Toxic attitudes toward women seep out of strip clubs and into the fabric of our communities.
• Escape from prostitution is difficult and dangerous. If a person is successful in leaving safely, it takes many years to regain a sense of self-worth and dignity.
• Customers are men from every walk of life. They seek selfish sexual gratification-and anonymity.

by Konnie McDermott, A-STOP intern<

In 2002 our organization changed its name to Adults Saving Kids. Prior to that we were called A-STOP (Alliance for Speaking Truths On Prostitution), STOP (Speaking Truths On Prostitution), or Grassroots Ministry Alliance.