The STOPLight

Unconnected lust: The way life is?

Wherever we turn today, highly regarded and visible people in the media endorse and legitimize unconnected lust. Respected reporters, editors, and broadcasters condone, promote, and even celebrate unconnected lust as "the way life is."

So what is unconnected lust? Ronald F. Levant in his book Masculinity Reconstructed defines lust as "the desire to satisfy purely physical sexual urges." He defines unconnected as meaning "separated from our other human desires and separated from a relationship with a person -- uninfluenced by sufficient awareness of how our emotions, needs, and fears drive our sexual behavior, and unmoderated by sufficient sensitivity to women's needs and how our behavior affects them."

Movie studios make a lot of money from unconnected lust by producing movies that glamorize prostitution and stripping. TV shows like Hard Copy and Entertainment Tonight bemoan the state of America but always find ways to include a sexual angle to titillate and keep viewers watching.

Seeing unconnected lust as "normal" behavior and the sex industry as just a part of the business community is scary. This is a shift in the way our society thinks about sex, relationships, and intimacy. Not long ago, men rarely went to strip clubs. Now there are many strip clubs hiring hundreds of girls to be entertainment for thousands of guys.

Levant states that unconnected lust leads men to go to topless bars more frequently, to suggest their female partners dress like hookers, perform for them like a stripper even to have plastic surgery to save" their relationship. These men can't imagine having sexual relations with an older woman. Does it have to go this far? Do we want this to be our primary attitude?

The effects of this attitude are just as scary. To entertain men, female partners jeopardize their own well-being. Hundreds of young bodies are needed to satisfy the unconnected lust of men. Recruitment of vulnerable youth, of which there are many, is stepped up.

Where does unconnected lust lead on a personal level? In the book cited above, Levant says men tend to view women as body parts (breasts, rears, legs), they become unable to sustain long term, intimate relationships with women, seek only young and perfect" bodies for sexual gratification. There is no consideration for the object of unconnected lust. This person's only purpose is to satisfy sexual urges.

I do not believe that unconnected lust is the way life has to be. Sexual appetites and urges do not define our behavior nor dictate our morals. Most of us are committed to our spouses, children, and families. Are we committed to exposing the sex industry for what it is, to making a positive difference in the lives of our children?

Are you willing to look deep into your own heart to find compassion for the children and youth that are devastated by sexual exploitation? Are you willing to take action to thwart the evil intentions of those who prey on our children?

Are you, by your actions and speech, willing to take a stand against those who promote unconnected lust?

The Judeo-Christian scriptures say very clearly that the righteousness of a nation will be judged by the way it relates to its poor and vulnerable. Right now, we have people jumping into the game of selling sex and selling with sex. And what is needed to do this? The poor and vulnerable to supply the bodies.

This is what you can do to make a difference. Contact the media and object every time they portray prostitution, stripping, or other forms of commercial sexual exploitation as just another career. Call or write to the sponsors of movies, ads, and magazines that seek to sell sex or sell with sex. Boycott their products. (See articles on pages 2 and 5 for other ways to take action.)

by Al Erickson, director of A-STOP

Dateline does it right

In late November of this year, the TV show Dateline interviewed two strippers. One said she was just earning money to pay for college the other actually told how bad things were and how the stripping made things worse. She revealed that she had been abused as a child, that stripping was not a career choice. We applaud Dateline for delving beneath the surface and exposing the truth.

In 2002 our organization changed its name to Adults Saving Kids. Prior to that we were called A-STOP (Alliance for Speaking Truths On Prostitution), STOP (Speaking Truths On Prostitution), or Grassroots Ministry Alliance.