The STOPLight

Building a Wall of Safety for kids

On a recent Montel Williams TV show, in a discussion of the sex lives of American teenagers, a young woman told of how she had had sexual intercourse with 20 boys and oral sex with another six. Because she was able to score just like the boys, she felt she now had the power over the boys.

In our A-STOP videos, a survivor of prostitution says she was given the same line by the pimping person. "If you get paid, you now have the power over the customer." Now she recognizes this was a lie he used to take advantage of her. "Each time you let yourself be used, you sell a piece of your soul," she says.

Are American youth being fed lies that will catch up with them and undermine their futures? Yes.

The boys on this same show were asked if they were stigmatized or put down for having had many sexual partners. Their reply was "No." In fact, now they had some honor and were known as a "pimp" or "player."

Notice the terminology. "Pimp" for them had a positive connotation. The concern of the whole show was that having many sexual partners and being sexually active was just part of the American teenager scene.

There was no love in it, no thought of the future ramifications. Everyone was using and being used as though it didn't matter.

Friends of ours have a daughter whose female friends have gotten into drugs and sex. She is now an outcast for not participating. Some girls have been threatened for not allowing themselves to be sex objects for the boys. Others are afraid to tell anyone they are virgins for fear of being targeted for date rape drugs or being coerced.

The attitudes and behaviors of many American teenagers today are much more influenced by what they hear from pimps and manipulators than from the Scriptures or people who actually love teenagers and respect their lives. There is a tug-of-war going on in which people who value young people have often taken themselves out of the game while at the same time, those who want to take advantage keep pressing their message and manipulations home.

We also hear that many parents are not actively listening to and interacting with their teenagers. Churches are often silent on these subjects. A pimping person will hang around with a vulnerable teenager for hours, saying all the delicious things. They will out-parent parents. They know they will soon have their prey in their trap. A good parent is in it for the long haul and may have no immediate "rewards." Are we American parents up to the challenge we face?

Are we living in a culture where the lives of young people and their future have real value? It would appear not. Are we living in a society where the vulnerability and inexperience of the young is respected and protected? It does not seem so. Are we talking with our young people about how cleverly and subtly they will be targeted, manipulated, and recruited into attitudes and behaviors which will affect the rest of their lives? I find this is rare.

How can we turn this around? Jesus showed us the way. In Philippians 2:6 Paul talks about how Christ Jesus "who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited." Jesus did not look to his own interests but to the interests of others. He valued others when they did not seem to value themselves.

All of us must choose to honor and value our own lives as God values our lives. Instead of believing the lie that we are worthless, unlovable, bad, stupid or whatever lie we believe, we can allow ourselves to believe God's message to us in Christ that we are loved, valued, honored, given eternal life. This puts us in the preposterous position of actually seeing that we can love and value the full lives of our young people. We can authentically stand for their ongoing lives. We can get in the fray with them and cause an outcome that has their lives be protected and secure.

The main hope for America is found in Isaiah 58:12. Many people have been paralyzed by the thought that we live in the sad era of the rise and fall of the American Empire. This thought can immobilize us. On the other hand it can empower and compel us to do what we can to turn this country around while we have the opportunity. Nehemiah mobilized his people to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem so they could protect themselves. In like manner we can give the kind of leadership which has people step out and begin to build the wall of safety to protect our young people.

We can, brick by brick, begin to teach, to converse, to pray, to use good materials, to befriend, to speak out, to find ways to prepare our young people for what is coming at them. We can work to make sure what is coming at them is healthy. We can love and honor the lives of young people around us and give our time on their behalf. Once we do, we will meet others who are ready to build the wall with us.

by Rev. Al Erickson, director of A-STOP

To read more about teenagers see, The Sex Lives of Teenagers: Revealing the Secret World of Adolescent Boys and Girls, by Lynn E. Ponton, M.D.

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In 2002 our organization changed its name to Adults Saving Kids. Prior to that we were called A-STOP (Alliance for Speaking Truths On Prostitution), STOP (Speaking Truths On Prostitution), or Grassroots Ministry Alliance.