The STOPLight

My dream: Watching kids grow up safely

As my gangly 15-year-old son and I were playing basketball in the alley, a bright-eyed four-year-old girl sauntered up. She stopped and asked my son with totally innocent curiosity, "Are you a boy or a man?"

We were caught off-guard. I asked, "What do you think?" We awaited her verdict, father and son, both on the brink of change.

She looked him over and passed judgement. "A boy," she said.

Released from the suspense, we laughed.

Something inside me feels proud to be a human being when I see teen girls walking down the street laughing and feeling free. I listen to adolescent boys kidding each other about their awkwardness and enjoy that moment in my life all over again. How sweet they are — so young and carefree, just being themselves.

Teens are great and often transparent. They are our national treasure: pimply faces, braces, clumsy, awkward. . and beautiful. These wonderful children are stretching, learning, growing, reaching to become mature adults.

But there is another side to teenage life here in the inner city.

I see Keith. A couple of years ago he was a bright kid showing great promise playing basketball. Now he is high on crack cocaine, a disaster waiting to happen. Raised by a mother caught in a web of prostitution and drugs, his role model for manhood was an uncle who is a violent pimp.

There is Veronica. She should be planning for college instead of walking the streets selling her body for her 45-year-old "boyfriend" pimp.

And Jen and Shari. Two 13-year-olds who should be giddy about the prospect of junior high. Instead, they hang out with gang members, most likely victims of rape by the very guys they now follow hopelessly.

Isn't it time to be outraged when the open vibrancy and joy of youth are being taken advantage of, mangled and extinguished right in front of us?

How long will we sit back and do nothing? Each year, one million youth and children in this country are victimized, exploited and used in prostitution, pornography, and worse. How long will we allow our wonderful children to slip through the safety nets of our communities to face rape, torture, jail, AIDS, even death?

How could a child possibly know how to deal with sexual abuse when most of us can't even find the words or time to warn them about it? From where do vulnerable adolescents learn to see through the clever approaches of pimps who lure them with "love?" Who can kids turn to for help when adults keep making the problem someone else's?

We adults have to quit letting ourselves off the hook. We need to look reality in the eye and admit that there are problems. We need to acknowledge that it is not someone else's problem. It is our problem. The safety of our daughters and sons is at stake. The future of our country is at stake. I have a dream for every community in this country.

I see kids happily playing, eyes twinkling, exuberantly embracing the freedom of their childhood. I see neighbors keeping an eye on each other's kids. I see communities coordinating services and outreach so that safety for kids is paramount. When a child has a problem, he or she knows where to go for help, who to trust. Parents, teachers, child-care workers, police, ministers, social workers, health professionals — everyone knows what to do. No child has to live with repeated abuse. No child has to run away to escape abuse. Caring people are there to help them. And kids grow up being kids, enjoying life. The challenges and opportunities of the future are theirs to pursue as whole, healthy and valued individuals.

I can't make the dream come true alone.

Ask yourself what you have at stake. Is it your daughter who could be raped? Is it your son who was sexually molested? Is it your husband who frequently uses prostitutes? Is it your student whose home situation is disrupting his ability to learn? Is it your patient who has a sexually-transmitted disease at age 12? Is it your sister who just revealed the incest she suffered as a child? Is it your brother who ran away at 14 and haven't heard from for a year? Is it the increase in violent crime committed by youth? Is it the full prisons that continue to eat up tax dollars without any measurable gains in rehabilitation? Is it your neighbor's daughter who was murdered in prostitution?

What do you have at stake? What are you willing to do to prevent someone you love from being victimized? What are you willing to do to assure your children's safety in the future?

The S.T.O.P. Committee (Speaking Truths On Prostitution) was formed by a group of people concerned about people they love being victimized in prostitution. Our purpose is to share truths on prostitution through education, communication and outreach. We seek to educate and inform, correct misconceptions, encourage and assist the victims, bring about changes in society and legislation, and offer spiritual, emotional and physical healing.

Already, S.T.O.P. has a support group for family members of people in prostitution. We publish this free newsletter which now has a circulation of over 6,000. We are exploring the possibility of establishing housing for survivors of prostitution as they put their lives back together. We have speakers talking about prostitution to church leaders, medical professionals, educators, youth groups and more. We are trying to interest educators in including Frank Barnaba's Paul & Lisa program on the prevention of sexual exploitation in Minnesota schools.

The problems won't go away on their own. The dream can come true — one step at a time. Please call 612/872-0684 if you are ready to volunteer time and effort. We depend on volunteers for all our projects. Donations are needed to cover the cost of publishing and mailing the STOP Light and funding our other projects.

by Al Erickson, founder and acting director of the S.T.O.P. Committee. Al is the director of Grassroots Ministry Alliance, Inc., a nonprofit coalition of churches seeking to reroot in the inner city Phillips neighborhood of Minneapolis, Minnesota.

In 2002 our organization changed its name to Adults Saving Kids. Prior to that we were called A-STOP (Alliance for Speaking Truths On Prostitution), STOP (Speaking Truths On Prostitution), or Grassroots Ministry Alliance.